Pushing It

It's raining. It's been raining for three days. I love the rain, the quite peacefulness it brings, the time to get lost in my thoughts and just listen to the sounds of the world around me. This does not, however, help with the motivation to keep up with the work outs.

I've started using the treadmill in the gym at work. I work at a call center so I sit for 8 or 12 hours a day, not real good on the body. We get 10 minute breaks throughout the day which I have started using to get in a little jog. Just a few minutes, but I always come back to my cube feeling better. More alert, focused, and ready to face the next lag of the day.

I say "jog"...... not really sure what it's that I do. It's not walking but not running by far. I guess "jogging" is the right thing to call it. I'm moving at a quicker pace than I am used to and my heart rate jumps up. Usually it's only for a couple or three minutes at a time. I give myself pep talks while doing this. No one else is there, just me and the T.V. I don't turn the lights on, no need to. I just pay attention to what I am doing, which is getting healthier.

Today I got cut from work early because we weren't busy. As I walked to my van in the rain, I went back and forth in my mind as to whether I was going to work out. It was yucky outside, I just lost work hours, and I really wanted to go home and go back to bed. I try to live by the motto; " Do the right thing." Most of the time it works well for me. So I open the door and see the bag that holds my workout clothes. Not wanting to be a hypocrite, even to myself, I grab the bag, ditch my purse and lunch bag and go to the gym. I like the way I feel when I workout, always have. I like taking time for myself.

I put the bad feelings into the workout and push myself. I stretch for a few minutes as always, set the timer for 30 minutes and walk at a slow pace, increasing the speed a little at a time till I get to jogging speed. I start off and focus on breathing right. ESPN is on the T.V. so I'm watching that and not looking at the timer. When I do look down I see that I've passed the four minute mark, I think "cool!" More SportsCenter, more time passes and I'm going on my seventh minute. I push to finish this pace for 10 minutes, not a marathon but a big thing for me. I walk at the same pace for a little while, then think, "I can jog a little more.", Five more minutes and another five at a slowed pace to cool down.

I'm sweaty and red faced but feel charged up. I know I'm doing something good for myself and that is a great thing!

Getting Started...... Again

I'm fat. Not chubby, pudgy, chunky or any other cute things people say when they are trying to not call it like it is.

I've always been over weight from a young age. A lifetime of bad habits and abuse of food has been my way of life. For so long I didn't know it was wrong or bad. Sure I knew I wasn't like all the other kids. I got picked on and teased but learned to adjust by being nice to everyone and pretending that it didn't hurt. Truth is it did, still does.

As I aged and became more aware of the hazards to my health I tried to change my ways. Change is hard and it's easy to fall into the comfort zones of the past. In my head I know. I can tell you anything you can read in a book about how to lose weight, how to exercise, and how to eat right, but finding the will to do all that is what has always been a challenge. I get a good start and think this time it will be different. Many times it has been, I've lost up to 30 plus pounds at a time before only to see it creep back and sometimes even more.

So why is this time different? Why is this going to be the time ?

Many reasons:

• For me; I want to, need to, have to !
• For my family; I wanna be here to see what they become, I want them to have me.
• For my best friend; Rick is an amazing person and an inspiration in this journey.
• For this blog; I'm not gonna try to post everyday but along the way I'll let you know how I'm doing.

So that's it, here I go again. Join me, encourage me, ask how I'm doing. I need the accountability and feedback. Here's to a new healthy me however long it takes, this time I'm gonna do it.